It's Too Late
by Soccer Monkey 16
Summary: AH 3-shot. Ever since Edward was twelve, he's known he was in love with Bella, the only one too oblivious to notice. Many opportunities present themselves, but he never tells her. Then, when she dies in a car crash, the truth comes spilling out. Please R
1. Opportunities

**Salut, my fellow readers! For any of you who don't know, Salut means hi in French. Anyway, this is a three-shot that I came up with like five minutes ago in the shower. It's based off of a chain e-mail I got the other day, and my inspiration came wholly from that. Thank you, Leah! And don't forget to review!**

**Disclaimer: Me don't got no Twilight**

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**Summary: AH. 3-shot. Ever since Edward was twelve, he's been in love with Bella, the only one who's too oblivious to notice. Many opportunities present themselves, but he never tells her. Then, when she dies in a car crash, the truth comes spilling out. Please R&R**

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Edward – Twelve (1994)

I watched her walk towards my locker after school, her long brown hair shining in the sun that rarely ever peeks out of the clouds. I was entranced by the way she walked, and the way her hips swayed with each step she took.

She smiled when she noticed me, and my heart did a flip. I couldn't help but smile back.

And I took my feelings as a confirmation of the suspicion I had come up with last night; I was in love with Bella. I could just tell.

"Hey," she greeted me once she stopped at my locker.

"Hey." My grin grew even wider, and I was sure my eyes were sparkling with excitement.

"I hope you haven't forgotten about our deal." She teased. She'd been coming up to me and saying this every day after school for the past year. I decided to mess with her just a little this time.

"What deal?" I faked a lack of knowledge.

Bella pouted. "The one that keeps us together throughout the rest of middle school and high school and then to college and forever. And that makes sure that, no matter what, we won't separate from each other. Don't you remember?"

"Oh, right. _That_ deal." The pain in her eyes was so apparent that I dropped the act immediately. "Geez, Bella, I'm joking. How could I forget?"

I bumped her a little bit with my hip. She playfully slapped my shoulder and stuck her tongue out.

"That wasn't funny, Edward Cullen." But her face was breaking into another smile, and I knew I was forgiven. "You scared me half to death."

"I could never forget that deal. I was the one who made it up. We will be best friends for ever." I rolled my eyes at her, but inside my heart soared.

_Best friends. Best friends. Best friends. Best friends. Best friends._

But I wanted to be so much more. Even though I was only twelve, I knew that I was in love with Bella. I could barely stand being just friends. I wanted to be able to hug her and kiss her and have it_ mean _something. I wanted Bella to be mine.

"Of course. Always and forever. Love you!" She gave me a hug and turned to walk away. That's what she always said; Love you! I just wish that it meant more than it did to her.

I grabbed her wrist as she walked away. "Bella!"

"Yes?" Her eyes sparkled. This was my moment. I was going to tell her I loved her, but in a more than friends way.

I was going to do it. I took a deep breath.

And chickened out.

"Have fun at Angela's."

"Thank you." She gave me a hug and walked away.

I couldn't do it, but I would have other opportunities later, right?

But all that was running through my head was:

_You failed. You didn't tell her you're in love with her. Maybe that's means she'll be gone._

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Sixteen (1998)

The doorbell rang downstairs.

"I'll get it!" I called to my mother, Esme, who was in the kitchen.

As I was walking down the stairs, the doorbell rang again, followed by rapid knocking. I decided to run the rest of the way.

I yanked the door open, and there stood my angel, my best friend, my Bella.

"Edward!" she cried, launching at me to give me a hug. I hugged her fiercely back

"What is it?" I asked, a little breathless from her enthusiasm. With the way her face glowed, I knew it was going to be good news.

"I got asked on my first date!"

"Good for you." My voice sounded totally fake to my own ears, but Bella was too excited to notice it.

Of course, this had always been expected. Bella was the most beautiful girl in our school, she had top grades, and she was always so kind and generous. There was no doubt that someone would ask her out. But still, I had hoped. I had wished to be the first one, once I told her that I was in love with her.

"Wait, who are you going with?" I needed to know if he was good enough.

"Mike Newton."

I suppressed a growl. Mike wasn't anywhere near good enough for Bella.

It was common knowledge that Mike had been head-over-heels for Bella since the moment he met her, but I was surprised that when he asked, she said _yes_.

"Oh, um, great!" I didn't think my attempt at sounding enthusiastic had worked too well.

"Do you mind if I stay here with Alice until I'm ready? She'll do a better job with preparation than I ever could." Bella laughed and I laughed with her, but inside I felt a twist of pain. Why did she try to make herself even more beautiful than ever for a date with Newton? Maybe this meant more to her than I had thought.

"Yeah, sure. Alice!" I called up the stairs. My little pixie of a sister came sprinting to the top of the stairs, and – as if she had heard everything – proceeded to drag Bella to her room, all the while chattering away about what Bella was going to need to wear, what makeup she was going to apply, even what perfume she was going to spray on her wrists and neck.

As if Bella didn't smell good enough already.

I waited for the next hour in my room, fantasizing about how Bella would look, but once I watched her walk down our staircase in my mind, I saw myself as the one to hold out my hand. It was me that was taking her on the date.

After what seemed like forever, I heard Alice squeal in the other room, and then shout, "Oh my god, Bella, you look beautiful!"

I dashed out of my bed and ran down to the second floor of our house and outside of Alice's bedroom.

There, sitting on the bed and holding up a mirror, was Bella. They both turned their heads to look at me, and I almost gasped.

Alice had lightly applied makeup to Bella's face, but you could still see the natural beauty radiating from underneath. Bella's eyelids were covered with a soft blue eye shadow that matched her top. The somewhat dark mascara put on her eyelashes brought out the lights that twinkled in her eyes. She looked more beautiful than ever, if that was possible.

"Bella," I breathed. "You look beautiful."

"Thanks," she whispered and blushed red. I had a longing to walk over and stroke the red on her cheeks.

Bella walked over to me and pulled me into another hug.

"You look beautiful, too," she teased, and I rolled my eyes before I looked down at her.

"Bella!" Alice's voice reminded me that I was not alone with this beautiful angel, and my heart was hurt once more. "You are going to get picked up by Mike any minute now."

"Oh, right." She pulled away from me, a little reluctant, and she turned to walk out the door.

As I had done that one time four years ago, I grabbed her wrist and pulled her back.

"Yes, Edward?" Her face turned to me once more.

My heart pounded in my ears. My brain went haywire. I was sure my palms sweated a teeny bit. Just the same as last time.

But this time, it would be a little different; I would tell her.

I opened my mouth to tell her I loved her, but all that came out was, "I hope you have a great night. Have fun."

"I will." She grinned at me and walked away.

So this time was no different.

_You failed. You didn't tell her that you're in love with her, and now she's going away._

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Eighteen (2000)

Tonight was the night. Tonight was senior prom.

I hadn't quite been looking forward to this too enthusiastically, but I had been asked out and thought it would be rude to decline the girl that was currently my date – Bella was already going with somebody.

I wasn't going to prom with Bella, the vision I had seen this whole year. Instead, I would be escorting a girl named Tanya to the prom. Tanya was nice enough, but I didn't like her like a girlfriend. She always flirted shamelessly and didn't know when it was enough. Still, it was better than going with nobody.

I arrived at Tanya's house in my shiny Volvo right on time. As soon as my hand went up to knock on the door, it was wrenched open. There, standing in the doorway, was Tanya.

Her strawberry-blonde hair was curled slightly at the ends and an elegant clip was holding it in place in the back of her head. Her makeup was applied a little too thickly, but the light blue eye shadow brought out her eyes.

What was even more shocking than the fact that she actually looked somewhat beautiful was the dress that she was wearing. It wasn't slutty at all, and it actually looked pretty.

The dress was a light, bright blue. It came about knee-length with flowing fabric reaching to the end. The top was held in place by two thick straps that – after falling over her shoulders – reached to the middle of her back. And the dress was complete with silver peep-toe heels. **(Dress on profile)**

"Hey, Edward," she greeted me in her high, flirtatious voice. It might supposed to have been seductive, but it didn't appeal to me at all.

"Hello, Tanya. Are you ready to go?" I asked more out of courtesy than will; she was obviously ready to go, but I didn't want to be rude.

"Of course." And Tanya took my hand as we walked the short distance to my house.

Once we got to the prom, Tanya skipped over to her friends. To brag about the fact that I was her date, no doubt. We did dance a little bit, but it seemed that all she really wanted to do was gossip with her friends. And brag.

Finally, after an hour, I let my gaze sweep over the crowd of dancers, my heart pounding when my eyes rested on Bella.

When the current song ended, I rushed over to where she stood.

I tapped on her date's shoulder and politely asked, "May I?"

Bella nodded, both at me and her date, and he turned around to face me. I recognized him as Bella's friend, Jacob Black, who lived on the La Push reservation just a few minutes away.

"I guess so," he responded reluctantly, letting go of Bella's waist. I just smiled a thanks in response and slid into the spot that he had just occupied. Another song started, and Bella and I danced silently for thirty seconds.

In those few seconds, I raked my eyes over Bella's body to see what she was wearing. Her beauty left me breathless.

Her dress was a soft pink, and the fabric that covered her torso wrapped around her frame rather tightly, showing off her curves. It was sleeveless, and covered only up to a little lower than mid-back. On her left side was a slit that came up to about eight inches below her waist, showing off her leg. The right side trailed to the ground, and the slant that was created was made up of a thin, light fabric. **(Dress on profile)**

Her hair cascaded like a waterfall down her back, shining in the light. She was absolutely gorgeous.

I bent my head down so that my lips were at her ear. "You look absolutely stunning."

She blushed my favorite shade of pink. "Thank you," she whispered. I smiled.

Our next three dances were filled with small talk consisting of friends, what we were doing in our spare time when we weren't hanging out with each other, and anything about each other's families that we didn't already know. She smiled so brightly that I couldn't help but smile back.

Once the last song ended, Jacob cut in and it was my turn to unwillingly remove my hands from Bella's waist.

"Have a fun night, Edward!" Bella called after me. I shot her a small grin before turning around again.

The rest of the night, I danced with Tanya three more times, a girl named Jessica once, and a few other girls, all of whom I only liked as a friend. My eyes the whole time were filled with the image of Bella.

As the end of the night drew near, I found myself leaning against a wall, watching Bella twirl gracefully on the dance floor. Finally, I found my chance.

Jacob whispered something to Bella, and she nodded, after which he soon departed. She looked almost lost, and I rushed to her side to come to her rescue.

"May I be honored with a dance?" I asked, holding my hand out towards Bella. She laughed.

But she didn't take my hands. Instead, her arms snaked around my neck, and replied, "Of course, good sir."

Her humor made me break into a huge smile.

For the next four minutes, we danced in complete silence. This time it wasn't awkward, but just how it ended up. Her head fell on my chest in the first minute as we rocked side to side, completely happy.

And after what seemed far too quick, the D.J. (just a man who controlled the iPod and microphone) announced that this year's prom was over. But Bella didn't loosen her grip on me for another twenty seconds.

When she pulled away with a sigh, I grabbed her hand and kissed it. Her large brown eyes sparkled and her lips pulled into a smile.

"Thank you for tonight," I whispered. She leaned in to give me a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank _you_. Love you, Edward."

"Bella," I began, my confidence built up from her eyes. For once, I wasn't going to chicken out. I wasn't going to be a wimp.

Apparently, I was. "I had a great time."

"Me too." And she turned away from me and towards Jacob, so that he could give her a ride home.

_You failed. You didn't tell her that you're in love with her, and now she's walking away._

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Twenty-One (2003)

I had been at home for the first time in months for a week now. Because of college, I hadn't got to see my family for months on end.

But it was the holidays now, and I was back home. So was Bella.

We didn't go to the same colleges. I went to Dartmouth and she went to Cal. We were on opposite sides of the country, so we barely saw each other at all any more, except for when we came home on the holidays.

But my love for her still grows.

I had wished more than anything that we could have gone to the same college, and there perhaps developed into something more than friends. That would be after I told her I loved her, of course.

"Edward," my mother called. "They're going to come any minute! Help me set the table."

"Alright, I'm coming!" I hollered back.

Today was Thanksgiving, and Bella and her father were coming over to have dinner with us. My stomach did a somersault at the thought of seeing Bella for the first time in months.

Once they arrive, I rush over to give Bella a hug. She squeals, but hugs me fiercely back. Oh, how good it felt to have her in my arms.

We pull back from each other, and her eyes twinkle with excitement. Her face glows, outshined only by her smile.

"I missed you." She smiled up at me.

"I missed you, too." And I had. So much more than she could imagine.

But little Emmett had to ruin the moment. He grabbed onto the edge of Bella's shirt and whined, "Didn't you miss me too?"

"Of course, I missed you, Emmett. How could I not miss my favorite little man?" And with that, Bella picked up Emmett and twirled him around. Once they stopped spinning, though, Bella didn't put Emmett down. Instead, she marched him into the dining room and sat him down on one of the chairs. Emmett had a grin so big that he looked like the Cheshire Cat.

The rest of us walked to the table with few words. When I got there, I pulled out a chair for Bella, who was now tickling Alice, and then chose to sit down in the seat next to hers.

The dinner was filled with chatter, mostly coming from me and Bella – the adults wanted to know how college was going. When Bella supplied the conversation, I watched her every move, entranced. But even when I was talking, I barely looked away.

I wasn't sure if she had been watching me enough to notice.

By the time dessert finished, all of us were full, and most of us tired. Bella was even clumsier than ever when she tried to walk to the front door, not to mention her car, so I put her arm around my shoulder, put my arm around her waist and half carried her out the door. Once I had placed her into the passenger's seat, I took her hand and leaned my head in toward her cheek.

I needed to tell her. I was going to tell her.

But I was too scared.

All that came out was, "Love you," as I planted a kiss on her cheek.

"Love you too." She gave me a grin and closed the door.

And then I watched as Charlie's car pulled out of the driveway and down the road.

_You failed. You didn't tell her you're in love with her, and now she's driving away._

**Thank you for reading, my little people! And, if you will, might you be able to check out my other two stories, please? Thanks, and please don't forget to review!!!**


	2. The Diary

**Hey! I'm all happy because, first of all, we just won the first round of cup play! And second, I got Titania for our play of Midsummer Night's Dream in drama class. I get to be a fairy queen! But I'm kind of sad because not too many people read this story, and even less people reviewed. But, hopefully this can get a teeny bit more popular! And on with the second chapter!**

**Disclaimer: Twilight is not mine. I only own Emmett. I wish.**

Twenty-Seven (2009)

I sat on my bed, tears endlessly streaming down my face. I made no move to wipe them away. If I tried to keep them back, who knows when they would come spilling out the next time?

It had been three weeks since the word of Bella's death, and only four days since I went to the funeral. Tears had been pouring out of my eyes for days. I didn't try to make them stop.

I was at my parents' house back in Forks. I wouldn't be able to bear the separation from anything reminding me of Bella. I needed her.

But of course, David, her current boyfriend at the time, had to mess it all up. They had gone to a party together, and he had gotten drunk. He was much stronger than Bella, so when she insisted that she should drive, he only pushed her forcefully into the passenger seat and taken off. It had only taken a couple minutes for him to crash. I had always known that he was no good.

You failed. You didn't tell her that you're in love with her, and now she's gone.

X X X X X X X

"Edward," my mother called softly from the doorway, "I have something you might want to take a look at."

I felt her place a small item at the end of my bed and walk back out of the room. She hadn't needed an answer.

After I was sure she wasn't within hearing distance – in case this was too painful – I picked up the item near my left leg. It was a book, small and black, with a strap snapping in front keeping it closed.

It looked like a diary. I opened the book and found that I was right. The first two words on the front page were "Dear diary".

I flipped the pages, scanning over the times in her life, when one specifically caught my eye.

_October 12, 1998_

_Dear Diary,_

_Today I had my first date! I was asked out by Mike Newton. I guess he's okay. I mean, I don't like him, like him, but he's nice. And I didn't really want to hurt his feelings._

_I went over to Edward's house to tell him the news. As I hugged him, I realized that he was the one that I wanted to share this experience with. If my first date was with him, it would make the time all the more memorable. But if we went out, it might ruin our friendship, and I certainly didn't want that._

_I watched his face as I told him the news. His happiness didn't seem too genuine. I was pretty sure it had to do with the fact that he didn't like Mike that much. I didn't blame him._

_As I was debating on whether or not to give him another hug, Alice came sprinting down the stairs. Of course, I had known it was going to happen – Edward had called for her. But I had still wished for a few more moments of privacy._

_I went through Alice's "torture session" for about forty-five minutes. It consisted of blush, eyeliner, eye shadow, foundation, and mascara. And she also picked out an outfit that was quite cute._

_Edward saw me, and it seemed as if he liked what he saw. I wished that could've been true. But he would never like such a plain girl like me._

_I did have some fun on my date, but most of it was because of Edward. When Mike became unendurable, I pictured that it was Edward there instead of him, just two best friends hanging out. But sometimes, usually when Mike would try to make a move, I envisioned it as a little bit more._

_Oh, Edward, how I wish you really would have been there to save me from that torture!_

The entry ended there. I was shocked. She actually had a crush on me in high school! Of course, if I had known that and asked her out, her crush probably would've started to fade, and it would've become the awkward I-hang-out-with-my-friend-who-loves-me-but-I-don't-love-him-back phase.

I skimmed over her pages some more, and another special occasion caught my eye. It was the one of Bella's first break-up in which she didn't dump the boy, but he dumped her. She had always been conscious of how much heartbreak she inflicted on a boy when she broke up with him, but she had never experienced it herself. But here, on this page, was proof that after a while, she did.

_January 24, 1998_

_Dear Diary,_

_Today Scott broke up with me. I was so infuriated that I almost chucked something at him! How could he?! After a month and a half of dating, he had said that I was the first girlfriend to really mean something to him! But apparently, those feelings vanished as quickly as they had come!_

_I remembered when we would share ice cream cones, and he would always end up kissing off the little bit that always ended up on my nose. When we would swing in the park like little kids until our legs were tired. And through all of that, he would tell me that I was special, and that I meant so much to him._

_And yet, though he said all of those things, he still dumped me, his eyes as cold as his heart. It seems that someone can only be special for him for so long, like a child with a new toy; once the next one comes out, he'll have forgotten all about the old one._

_I went to Alice and Edward's house for comfort, and Alice was gone, so Edward was the only one that could calm me down. Most people think that it must be odd to tell a guy friend all of your feelings, especially towards other guys. But it was never awkward with Edward. Sometimes I even wished that he was the one I told him I was directing those feelings toward._

_And Edward held me, in a friendly embrace. That's all it will ever be, friendly. I wished to kiss those lips of his as he spoke comforting words to me, but I knew it could never happen. Maybe, just maybe, something good came out of breaking up with Scott._

_Oh, Scott! If only you knew how much confusion you caused to my heart!_

I read in shocked disbelief. She had held this almost-crush for about three months. But it had never been enough. If I had told her how I felt, I surely would've had my heart broken, shattered, just like Bella in this entry.

I found another entry. This time, it had nothing to do with a personal experience of Bella's. Instead, she was watching _me_. I longed that this entry would be proof that she still had a crush on me. I read the entry with a surge of hope that, though Bella wasn't alive any more, at one point she had truly loved me.

_December 8, 1998_

_Dear Diary,_

_I've been watching Edward for a few months now. Sometimes in the friendly way, always watching out for him, or coming to support him in sports. There were those kind of times when I watched him. And then, there were other times. More times where...I watched him because I couldn't help myself._

_Like today. Today I had been sitting at our usual table in lunch, and Edward was sitting a few seats down next to his girlfriend, a pretty girl by the name of Michelle. I had talked to him often about her, and he always said that she was getting annoying. She was sweet at sometimes, but vain and petty at others. He told me that he was planning on breaking up with her soon. So why didn't he?_

_She was sitting on his lap, and her arms were wrapped around his neck. Sure, he seemed to be okay with the situation, but I was able to notice the look of slight unease under his little act._

_I watched them with a stab of jealousy. I wished that it were me there, sitting in Edward's lap, being comforted by his soothing voice, being made happy just because he was there. And so I envisioned it that way. I pretended that it _was _me sitting on his lap, giving him a kiss on the cheek from time to time. I longed for that. So why was I so afraid to tell him?_

_If only the girls that Edward dated knew just how lucky they were._

I remembered that girl, Michelle. She had been, at first, a lovely girl, possibly someone that I could actually like. But after a while, she became quite annoying, and I had sometimes found myself comparing her to Bella. Just like all of them.

It was cruel, I knew, but I had only dated girls to keep the focus of my heart away from Bella. I couldn't spend every day watching after her like some lovesick boy. I couldn't appear pathetic. Bella would notice, and then she would probably become uncomfortable and stop being my friend. And having her in my life as a friend was better than her not being in my life at all.

The next entry I found was of our prom, when we were both eighteen. I was surprised that she had kept a diary this long – most girls thought it silly to have one at the age of thirteen. But that didn't stop me from reading on.

_April 20, 2000_

_Dear Diary,_

_Tonight was senior prom! I ended up going with Jacob Black, a close family friend._

_A lot of people stared at us as we walked through the gym doors. I teased Jacob that it was because he looked like a monster – he was 6' 4" and very muscular. He told me that it was because I was so beautiful. My face was red for long after that._

_I was dancing with Jacob when Edward walked in. I recognized his date, Tanya, and was surprised at the fact that he had come with her. He had often told me that she was nice, but annoyed him too often for him to even consider the possibility of them going out._

_I felt a pit of envy boil inside of me as I watched her cling to his arm, but it started to simmer as I watched his face turn to disgust._

_I was thrilled when, after an hour, Edward came to dance with me. I watched him as we moved, entranced by his beauty. He looked even better than normal in his tux, and his eye twinkled in the light. His usually messy hair was even messier than usual, and I kind of wanted to run my hands through it._

_We danced for the rest of the song, and then Edward stayed for a second. And a third. And, finally, a fourth. He danced the last dance with me, too. I was too caught up in the fact that my hands were around his neck and that his were around my waist to notice much else._

_When the last dance ended, and I pulled away, Edward grabbed my wrist and pulled me a little bit closer. For a fleeting second, I wished he would kiss me. And then I thought that possibly I could kiss him. But all he said was "Thank you", kissed my cheek, and pulled away._

_Jacob then escorted me to his car, but it was all in silence._

_I figured out, as we were driving, that I was in love with Edward Cullen._

Her diary ended here, and tears poured hot down my cheeks. She had been in love with me, and I with her. But we never said anything to each other. If we had, it probably wouldn't have all ended this way.

She had been in love with me. And now she was gone.

**Like it? Love it? Hate it? Drop a review and tell me about it, please!**


	3. The Grave

**Here it is, the last chapter to this three-shot! I hope you've liked my story and have had a wonderful beginning of the new year! And now, on with the last chapter! Please don't forget to review!**

Twenty-eight (2010)

Today was the one-year anniversary of Bella's death. I was at the cemetery, placing freesias in the plastic pot next to her grave. I read the grave that I had seen a few times before.

_Here lies Bella Swan_

_A beloved daughter_

_A lovely friend_

_And a wonderful person to all._

But she had been so much more than that, especially to me. And I felt that I needed to tell her that, and hopefully the words that I spoke to her would reach her in heaven, and her soul would be in semi-peace.

"Bella," I started, my voice already thick from tears. "Bella, I had once thought of you as the greatest of friends. But those feelings were washed away so long ago. At age twelve, I knew I was in love with you. I would watch you every time I could just to see your beauty. I would stare at you from across the lunch table as you laughed with Alice. Your laugh was so beautiful. So beautiful.

"I brought your diary. I've read it. I know it was selfish and rude, and it was also and invasion of privacy. But I couldn't _not_ read it. It was written by you, the only person that I really wanted to know. I hope you don't mind if I keep it. I just can't lose you, and this is the closest thing I have to your thoughts. It's the closest thing I have to you.

"I only read the parts that really were important to me. That means I only read the parts in which I was in and the ones where I read about your feelings toward the other boys. I read the relationships, the dates, the break-ups. I had to know how happy you were without me. I know it's selfish to say, but I was almost happy that you _weren't_ happy with other people, and that every time I comforted you or shared a moment with you, whether it was awkward or not, you always envisioned us together. You pretended that we weren't _us_, but instead one being, not a plural term.

"I'd like to talk to you about the one that struck my heart the most. It made me happy to know that you loved me." I sat down on the ground next to Bella's tombstone and pulled out the diary. "This one was all about prom. I watched you that night. Tanya was too busy gossiping with her friends to dance with me more than four times. I saw every other couple out on the dance floor dancing to almost every dance. I watched as you and Jacob dance to so many dances, and I only wished that it was me in your arms with you. Why couldn't it have been that way?

"I think one of the small things that you put in the entry almost made me swoon. Imagine me, Edward, swooning." I chuckled, but it seemed to be half-strangled. "You put, '_We danced for the reast of the song, and then Edward stayed for a second. And a third. And, finally, a fourth. He danced the last dance with me, too. I was too caught up in the fact that my hands were around his neck and his were around my waist to notice much else.' _Did you know that that was the exact thing that I was thinking, though the 'much else' that you talked about was the way you looked.

"In your wrap-around pink dress, you looked absolutely stunning. It was hard to believe that you were actually there. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that you and me were best friends. Sure, I had wished that we could be more, but I still had such a beautiful creature that I could have some kind of connection with; that I could, in some way, have a claim on. I just wondered why that claim couldn't have been more pronounced.

"And then I read the last line. The very last line of your diary, the very last line of any recorded part of your life, as far as anyone knows. I read the line, '_I figured out, as we were driving, that I was in love with Edward Cullen.'_

"How many people can say that the most beautiful girl to walk the earth was in love with them? Maybe one other, like Jacob Black. Maybe you were in love with him, too. I saw the way you watched him, as if he was most of your world. But then, how could you be in love with me, too? How could you be in love with more than one person? Were you in love with him in a different way, something that is, in fact, possible? I wish it were so. I wish that I could say that I was the main person in your life." My voice was starting to choke up, and I started to stutter.

"Y-you were th-the main-n p-p-pers-son in my life. I-I n-nee-eed-ded y-you mo-ore th-than anyth-thing.

"But I was t-too st-stup-pid and chick-ken to tell you this, and n-now you're g-g-gone. You're n-not mine, nor will you e-e-ever be. And I can only w-wish that I will g-get to see you ag-gain when I p-pass."

My sobs made my breathing turn heavy, and I couldn't talk any more. I lay down on the grass beside the stone, letting the light rain mix with my tears. I kept one of my hands on the diary and one of my hands resting on the tombstone. I stayed this way for hours, just letting the memories of Bella flow through my head.

_I was still next to the grave. A small light was above my head, and all I could do was stare at it. It was beautiful. The light started singing. No, humming was a better word. The orb was humming, but some kind of sound that almost seemed to be a voice was coming out as well. The light changed color, too. It would change from a bright yellow to a soft pink, and then to a soft yet bright blue before it turned to a dazzling green, and then maybe a blinding white. A flash of purple would appear for a split-second as well. It was almost as if it wasn't real._

_It was. But, instead of a being, I realized that it was Bella's soul, hanging in mid-air for me to see. I hesitantly reached out to touch it. Instead of staying where it was, it flew out of reach, close to my fingertips, but far enough so that I couldn't reach it._

_The sound that was coming from the soul - the singing sound - weaved a complicated melody around me, and I found that words were planted in my head. I could not hear them with my ears, but they were there, sewn into my brain._

Edward,_ it sang, the voices now able to be understood._

Edward, don't ever leave me.

_I won't, I wanted to respond, but my mouth wouldn't open. The only one who could 'speak' was Bella's soul. It still danced near my outstretched hand, not moving unless I flexed my fingers toward it._

_As if it heard me, words inside my mind spoke to me. _I'm counting on that. I'm counting on you. I can't let you go away.

_Never, I screamed silently, and the soul seemed to now hum a tune that had an air of contentment. I opened my palm, silently begging the orb of multicolored light to place itself inside. Instead, it just hovered an inch over the top. I didn't try to grab it this time. I only brought it a little closer towards me, marveling at the beauty that was Bella's spirit._

_And then, it left my hand, and it flew instead to float in the air about a foot off. The color changed to a soft lavender, seeming to grow bigger before the blinding white color flashed again._

_As soon as I could lay my eyes upon the soul again, it wasn't there. Instead, a mirage, the size and shape of Bella, was standing in front of me. She crouched down and put her right hand on my cheek. Her face was just inches away._

I love you_, she could be heard in my head. She still couldn't speak out loud._

_I love you, too, I thought, the words not intended to be spoken louder than a whisper. _

_Her fingers stroked my cheek, and then they danced on my lips ever so gently before she turned into a sphere of light again. The orb stayed in the light lavender color as it floated to the top of the tombstone. In another flash, it disappeared altogether, leaving me alone in front of the grave._

"Oh," I breathed as my eyes opened. I was now almost soaked, and my clothes were clinging to my body. It seemed that I had fallen asleep.

I remembered the Bella in the dream. She had been so beautiful, so sweet. The cheek that she had touch still burned from the trail of her fingers, and my lips tingled with an odd sensation.

I just needed her back here again.

I thought of what she would look like if she were here, if she was in this moment and this grave was somebody else's. She would comfort me, put her arms around me and whisper softly to me. I could almost hear her melodous voice speaking to me. Why did she have to be gone?

And then, as a few tears slipped down my cheeks, no more proceeded after them, and it felt as if I had used up my tears for the time being, and all I could do was dry-sob. My breath was still shaky, but I took a few deep breaths to calm it down.

I got up to kneel next to the tombstone, one knee resting on the ground.

"I'll love you forever."

And with that I kissed the top of the tombstone and turned to walk away.

"I love you," I whispered to the wind, and I could have sworn I heard it whisper back.


End file.
